You know the disconnect between what you know and how you feel? Like when someone says don’t worry, trust in God’s timing? It is so much easier said than done. Even when you know in your mind it’s what you should do but your heart is so stuck it doesn’t feel that way. So here again, I am going to be really vulnerable and air all my dirty laundry. Well- I guess it isn’t really dirty laundry but will definitely give you a glimpse into my often wayward heart.
I have this “I read-too-many blogs” problem. Maybe you can relate. I read something and if it pertains to marriage, I send it to Blake. If it has to do with teachers, I send it to my mom. If it has to do with anything that I can relate to someone I am close to, chances are I will be sending it to them. I love to read other people’s opinions/advice/perspective and automatically assume everyone else does too 😁 Anyway, I find that reading these often brings me to a place of discontentment – which is a huge proponent of sin for me. For instance, I will read a blog about how to improve marriage or tips to a more Christ-centered marriage and find myself jealous of someone else’s seemingly “perfect” marriage. Not that I want their relationship, but more like finding an immense amount of discontentment that my marriage isn’t “perfect” (which I am well aware that no one’s is). (Total side bar but I chuckled when I wrote that thinking of the advice my momma always gives– “The grass is always greener on the other side… but only because there is more poop!” Thanks for the insight momma!)
I will then read a blog about a momma who gives no sugar to her kid and find myself so aggravated with myself that I haven’t been as successful as I have wanted to be with nutrition in my family. Or I will read a blog of a woman who always appears put together, always positive, and dinner on the table at 5:30. And you guessed it- I become so indwelled with thoughts of why I can’t seem to get myself together.
But you know it’s totally not the blog. It’s not the writer nor the content. The true problem lies within myself. My sin selfish nature moves away from a place of contentment and thanksgiving and that shift leaves me in a dark place. I could read every blog under the sun and take everyone’s advice on how to make my life “better”/more efficient but the truth of the matter is I need a swift kick in my spiritual rear. Paul says in Epheisians, “… May you be filled with joy, always thanking the Father. He has enabled you to share in the inheritance that belongs to his people, who live in the light.” (v. 11-12)
Well there I have it. I need to be thankful to the Father. Focusing on Him and my inheritance given by the sacrifice of Jesus is exactly the remedy to my sin problem of discontentment. So today, I resolve to meditate in prayer of every relationship I have to be thankful for, every material blessing I have, and most importantly that I live in the light thanks to Jesus.
jumblednotions 